Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Crickets and Cats

Trogdor is burninating about 36 crickets a week (in addition to the veggies, nastursiums, and mealworms). Well, not really a week- more like Tuesday night through Saturday. Gex helps some. Because of this, I am thinking of signing up for a "cricket contract" where the little nasties are delivered weekly. The problem with this is that someone has to be home to accept them, and I do NOT want the gross disgusting little beasties to come to work. If they were delivered to work I would have to leave work and transfer the things from the shipping container to the cricket house (a nifty little clear plastic box with a lid and little black textured tube for them to hide in). I don't want to do that. So it seems I am at an impass, and that Troggie will be getting mealworms on those days when all the crickets are gone.

One of my cats, Tarki, was bitten by one of the other ones (probably BeBe, but I'm not sure). She had an abcess, which burst at home. All over my hand, in fact. It was pretty much the grossest thing ever. Now she's got a shaved spot on her back and an Elizabethan collar, which she can take off if we don't put it on right. This also means that yours truly must get up at 6am with the boy to throw antibiotics down the cat's throat, which is so not fun.

Sigh. What I do for my animals.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

There were roses

I have a very conflicted relationship with roses. I don't like to receive them, but I like to smell them and have them around. Getting a gift of roses just seems so artificial- the giver didn't take the time to find out I prefer tulips, daisies, sunflowers, irises, or orchids. They (well, usually he)just did what's expected. Also, the commonly available colors of florist roses just don't do anything for me, and the scent isn't great. Not to mention the human rights issues of the workers on the rose plantations of South America.

Despite all this, there is very little that can make me happier faster than cutting a just-opening bloom off the small "Peace" rose that grows in my backyard, burying my nose in the super-soft petals, and breathing in that luscious but not overwhelming scent. Taking my shears out back and cutting the stem just so, so two blossoms will grow for the one I cut is an amazing thing. To see this plant making such simple beauty and knowing I helped is quite the reward.

Now, I don't believe in those fancy-schmancy rose treatments. Number one reason is that Jeremy and I make wine out of our rose petals and most of the treatments specifically for roses aren't safe to eat. Also, many rose problems can be controlled through organic means- a strong jet of water once or twice a day will take care of mosts pests, organic fertilizer works just as well and is free to cheap (if you have friends who have pet cows like I do), and most rose diseases can be prevented by allowing the leaves to dry and pruning the diseased parts back. It seems to be working- my climber is huge- as in, I will have to get on the roof and cut it back soon- and the little hybrid tea in the backyard is thriving. Although the flowers don't like the 100-degree days very much.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Next year I will plant sunflowers

I'm not a native Kansan, and I like to pick on my adopted home. But it does have its charms.

For the 4th of July the boy and I drove to St. Louis. The route takes you through some of the only hills in this flatter-than-a-pancake state. (Proof ) The landscape is almost Martian in the winter, but in spring and summer it turns all green and gets covered in cows. The sky goes on forever. There was a storm rolling in, all black and towering and melding with the white fluffy clouds and the blue sky...

It was good.

Saturday, July 10, 2004


The baby kittie, Louisa. Posted by Hello


BeBe (Superbus) likes to help iron. Posted by Hello


Tarquinius likes to have her picture taken. Posted by Hello


Trogdor and a tasy tasty nastrusium. Posted by Hello


Trogdor likes the basking spot Posted by Hello


Trogdor's baby picture. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Damnit, Delaney, now I'm on a kick...

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
Down south means Oklahoma.
Everyone in your family has been on a "float trip" before.
In August, you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:00 a.m.
A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10 4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County)
More than once you've made a beer run to another state.
The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.
A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
A traffic jam is two drivers staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.
Using the elevator involves a wheat truck.
A short trip means going to Hutch to the fair or to Abilene to Ike's museum.
A long vacation means going to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun.
Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
You can properly pronounce Basehor, Cimmeron, Schoenchen, Kechi, Chautauqua, Arkalalah, and Osawatomie.
You can see the grain elevator in the next town, which is 20 miles away.
You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your better half knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
You don't have to ask, "What's a Jayhawk?"
You end sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
You failed geography because you thought Peru, Havana, Manhattan, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, and Cuba were only cities in Kansas.
You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping, and look forward to it
You had at least one summer job that was bucking bales or custom cutting.
You have been asked, "Where is Toto?" more than once.
You have never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's your neighbor.)
You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they call everything west of Topeka "Western" Kansas.
You know everything goes better with Ranch.
You know how spell "wash" but it still comes out "warsh" when spoken.
You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
You know a few people who have hit more than one deer.
You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.
You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn, while still on the stalk.
You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction, still summer, winter.
You know the words to "Home on the Range."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper
You like sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
You lock the doors to your truck but leave the windows rolled down.
You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You pronounce Arkansas differently when speaking of the state or river.
You really do think Sunflowers are beautiful.
You see a car running in the parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You think of the major food groups as beer, beef, beans and Jell-O salad.
You think people who complain about the wind and weather in their states are SISSIES!
You think sexy lingerie is white tube socks and a flannel shirt.
You think that opening day of the deer season should be a national holiday.
You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday.
You went to skating parties as a kid.
You'll pay for your kids to go to college...unless they want to go to OU or NU.
Your earliest driving lessons were in a field while picking up hay.
Your excuse for being late is the cows got out, and the boss accepts it
Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You're totally unfazed by a squadron of B1 bombers flying overhead.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You've ever said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've seen all the biggest bands but ten years after they were popular.
FINALLY...you are 100% Kansan if you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Kansas.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a guy in bib overalls?
It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.
We all started hunting when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.
Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for...bait.
Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for a shot.
The Jayhawks and the Wildcats are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.
No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we only use two weeks a year.
Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
Yeah, we eat catfish, carp and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 70 goes two ways - 35 goes the other two. Pick one.
The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.
So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
No, we can't shoot the meadowlarks. They're song birds. Okay, even we feel a little stupid about that one.
Now, enjoy your visit and then go home

More Kansas info than you would ever need

Can be found here.

You know you're from...

St. Louis when...
You like your bar-b-que cooked and immersed in sauce (Kansas City style) instead of roast beef with sauce on the side!
The first question you ask someone upon meeting them is, "So, where did you go to high school?"
You contemptuously denounce other areas for their accents, and then proceed to say "Warshington," "farty-far (44)," "yer," and "in/un (and)" without even realizing it.
You watch actors like John Goodman, Scott Bakula, Scott Foley, or Kevin Kline, just because "they're one of us."
You're used to streets that: a) end in one place and start up again half a mile down (i.e. Conway, McKnight), b) change names back and forth (Ashby, Warson, Lindbergh, Kirkwood), or c) run across highway entrance/exit ramps (Florissant, Hazelwood).
You expect every city to have towns/streets whose name ends in "wood."
You've ever fought with someone over the origin of toasted ravioli.
On a tour of St. Louis, you take out-of-towners to Ted Drewes. Period.
You recognize the name Cervantes but don't know much about it beyond that.
You make analogies between the Pope's Visit and Mark McGwire's home runs or the "Monday Night Miracle."
You consider a yellow light an indicator that you should speed up, not stop.
You still resent Kansas City because of the '85 World Series.
You wonder why anyone would eat Chili Mac on macaroni instead of spaghetti.
You are baffled when you hear the correct pronunciations of "Choteau," "Gravois," and "Soulard."
You respond to "Across the river" by asking "Which river?".
You cried when Mark McGwire hit more home runs than Sammy Sosa, not because the record was broken, but because St. Louis had bested Chicago.
You still have Mike Keenan's picture on your dartboard.
You always thought that the Archdiocese got its name from the Arch.
You say "St. Louis style pizza" instead of "thin crust."
You know what a Billiken really is.
You brag about our world champion Rams and baseball Cardinals, and you deny that the football Cardinals ever made their home here.

Kansas:
You never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's your neighbor.)


You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.


Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and you can still see him from your front porch.


You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.


A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.


A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150 4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County)


The terms Sooners, Huskers and Missouri Tigers cause the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.


You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.


You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store.


You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.


You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once.


You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.


Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.


You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.


You know everything goes better with Ranch.


You have seen people wear bib overalls to funerals and weddings and on the golf course.


You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.


A tornado-warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.


You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clintons state and the river... arKANSAS.


"Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita for the weekend.


You measure distance hours.


You know several people who have hit more than one deer.


You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.


It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a rush, because you have to stop to talk to everyone in town.


You call that smell coming from the feed yards ... Money.